I have a soft spot in my heart for a special kind of man: the single father. I have a beloved brother who raised his kids on his own for most of his children’s lives. Did he do everything according to the latest research available on how to raise children? No, but he did a great job by faithfully being the best dad he could.
I loved his creative way of occasionally feeding his kids dinner after a physically hard day on the job or when he forgot to go shopping. He would throw up his hands and announce: “Snack Supper”! The kids would squeal with delight as that meant cookies and milk, chips, and peanut butter sandwiches, you know, snacks! I thought it was an ingenious way to have fun with them instead of getting frustrated about having to be a chief (no, the only) cook and bottle washer. Since this didn’t happen every night, the kids grew up healthy.
My sisters were always there for his daughter to help with “girl things” and shopping trips.
For holidays when his kids were too little to see the need, our family always made sure he had presents. Instead of buying him gifts, I would give him a coupon good for house cleaning or home-cooked meals. Once when I was mopping his kitchen floor, he got quiet then chuckled, “I don’t think that floor has been washed since I moved into this house.” Dirty floors are a part of life. The real success was the fact that he loved and cared for his children. A dad that’s engaged is a treasure.
My brother was a master of the “Daddy Bluster.” That’s what I call it when a loving father says one thing but does another. My brother told his kids for years that when they hit 18, it was college, the military, or a full-time job and out the door, they would go! His heavy lifting would be done, and they were on their own. Most of you know where this is going! His daughter went to college, and he sent care packages and helped with auto repairs as well as being ready to meet any emergency that arose. When she secured a job in Colorado, Dad was right there taking his vacation to move her out of state. He even paid for her flights home too!
My brother was guilty of wanting a better start for his kids than he had so when his son turned sixteen, he helped him purchase a sports car, something he never had when he was young. It didn’t last long as local police stopped the fast, red sports car when they saw a teenager at the wheel, but I loved my brother all the more for indulging his son for a season. The Daddy Bluster failed again!
His son tried college, but it wasn’t the right fit for him, and his father once again stepped up to the parenting challenge by backing his decision. He also allowed him to live with him rent-free many years past eighteen as he said he “liked having someone around the place.” I admire my brother for being a great father.
According to a recent U.S. Census report, fathers today head 16.1% of single-parent households—up from 12.5% in 2007. While there are programs on the federal level designed to provide grants for single fathers, there are many ways that we can assist single dads. Sometimes, it’s just letting them know they are doing a great job!
Father’s Day is a great day to appreciate all the ways our men are amazing! I encourage you to spend time with the “fathers” in your life soon! Buchheit carries lots of great gifts perfect for our men!
Be blessed! Ann May
