Did your Grandmother have a favorite flower? Flowerbeds she planted and enjoyed that everyone wanted a start from to remember her? One major problem with reworking a neglected homestead for me was trying to save the flowers that meant so much to all the female members of my family. Aunt Clara wanted a section of the dainty rose bush while Mary loved the exotic lilies that grew in the front bed. Everyone wanted a cutting of the old lilac brush that stood in front of that house for at least fifty years. What do you do when the heavy equipment arrives, and no one was there to protect that legacy?
Okay, I know they are only flowers, but it is still an essential part of the memories of Grandma’s house. When trying to restore a homestead that has been so uncared, some hard decisions had to be made (the backhoe man removed all the bushes). Here is how the house looked before we started yard work. Old stands of perennials that weren’t cared for in years stood in the front, and overgrown bushes filled the back yard.
I was under a great deal of pressure in my mind from the weight of trying to preserve the past while moving forward to refurbish this old house.
My cousin Nancy did me a great favor. She is the family historian. I hope every family has someone like her who cares about recording the history and stories of our family. She asked if she could document the remodeling process. One of the first times she came she set me free from the burden of pleasing all the family members who, if they could, would keep Grandma’s house just as it was so that their memories could stay intact. Nancy told me the truth: the previous owners of this house felt free to make it their own home and so should I! Wow, that was freeing! While we are trying to keep as much of the character of the house, changes and updates must be made. Like taking out the frayed electrical cord that someone used instead of wiring from the basement to the bathroom! Jim was in disbelief when he found it in the bathroom wall!
We are moving forward with what has turned into a long, difficult project. When Jim was questioning why it was taking so long to remodel such a small house, someone told him to look back on the history of who lived there. The house turned 100 years old in 2017. Of those hundred years, in the last 80 years, the house has been occupied by a widow and her children and a grand old spinster. While my Grandmother did a great job of keeping the farm together, she was no carpenter, and my dad lost his father before he could teach him. That explains why so much needs to be restored on this homestead.
So, Jim and I are making new memories as we work together. One spring I noticed daffodils along the side of the new concrete driveway that has replaced the front walk. Who could have planted them? My husband grinned and said “Well I did last August when they were all dug up. I stuck them in the ground for you.” I have to laugh at my sweetheart who knows nothing about flowers. By all good gardening practices, no dug up bulb planted in August should have grown, so they must be pure love planted there to let me know that it’s going to be alright!
Every time I walk out and see them, I smile and think about how loved I am by my husband. We still have so much to do, but I will be encouraged every time I see those flowers.
Be blessed! Anne May
